Bad Day
by NightcatMau
Summary: Valkyrie cleans up her act just in time to meet her new partner. Too bad the new partner is Saracen. Rated M, for well, it is Saracen.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: I don't own Valkyrie or Saracen. Val is in her 20s, I guess.

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I sat on the courthouse steps, trying not to die. Why had I decided to clean myself up for my new partner? Oh, yeah, to make a good impression. Some impression I'd make. Everything was blurry and I'd already taken more migraine pills than I should have. I wanted him dead, this was all his fault, my new partner.

A black sportscar with a gold firebird on the hood pulled up. The windows were all tinted black, so I couldn't see in, but I could hear the radio pounding out "Sexy Back". I groaned and staggered to my feet, pulling my black fedora down and hugging my trenchcoat around me tighter. At least my shades would hide my bloodshoot eyes. I more or less staggered to the car and managed to get in.

The radio was so loud I could feel my migraine pound in time with it. "I hate you." I growled, not even bothering to look at my partner.

"I love you too, Val." My new partner said, turning the radio down with a laugh. "Looks like you had a good night last night." He said with a sexy purr as I turned to face him.

"Saracen? Yeah, total opposite. Can we get some coffee? I tried to go cold turkey."

"Take mine and we'll stop for more." He handed over a take away cup which I downed, scalding my throat but I didn't care. "You do feel bad, you didn't even tell me how good I look. And you're welcome by the way." He said with a laugh.

I growled, but looked at him obligingly. He did look good. He hadn't lost weight or anything, but he looked good, no fantastic. Saracen could do dead sexy without trying and he knew it.

"Thanks. And yeah, you look sexy. Happy now?" I growled and he grinned, pleased with himself.

"How sexy?" He purred.

"I swear to God, Saracen! I _will_ hurt you." I snarled and he laughed as he at last pulled away from the courthouse.

"You're fun to tease. You wearing anything under that trenchcoat?"

"I hate you."

"But I love you, Val." He teased. I sighed. This partnership was going to be fun, fun, fun.

* * *

 **Yay, that was six kinds of wrong.**


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: I don't own Valkyrie or Saracen.

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I slipped into the booth across from Saracen and glared at him. "Let's lay down some ground rules for this partnership, OK?" I growled and he laughed.

"OK, not that I intend to listen, but go ahead."

"First off, someone centuries older than me coming on to me is creepy and disgusting. So knock it off."

Saracen jerked his head back. "OK, Val. I was just having some fun. I'm mean, geez, I know how old I am. Thanks for rubbing it in." He waited until he ordered us coffee and breakfast. "OK, what else?" He smiled faintly but he looked like I'd sucker-punched him.

I sighed. "You're not Skulduggery. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that. Yelling insults at him is the only way to get him to listen."

"I can imagine. And you do it quite well, Valkyrie. So I'll just pack away my tattered male ego and never flirt with you again." I sighed. I sensed a guilt trip coming on, I really did. I almost apologized again before I remembered all his stories during the war. He'd been downright gleeful about all the women he slept with.

"It's appreciated." I said and he looked stung. I realized it had to hurt being shot down, but that was just it. Saracen was one of those guys who wouldn't stop until he got what he wanted, then I'd never hear from him again. I wondered briefly who had been stupid enough to pair any woman with him.

"I'd tell you you're looking better than when I picked you up, but I suppose you'd hit me."

"Nice try."

"I'm always nice."

"I really hate you, you know that?"

"What a thing to say, and just when I was going to make a proposal."

"Saracen!"

"I was going to propose that if we can't even make it through breakfast that I take you back where I found you and you get another partner." He said innocently. I glared at him because I knew _exactly_ what he'd been planning to say.

"You're a dead man." I growled.

"True. And the man of your dreams. Just admit it, Val, it's inevitable." He grinned at me and I wanted to hit him.

* * *

 **Saracen is, I have no words for what he is. Well, sexy works.**


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: I don't own Valkyrie, Skulduggery or Saracen.

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Saracen suddenly sobered. "Sorry, Val. I know how hard it has to be having me here instead of Skulduggery. But the last thing you need is a pity parade, all right? Please tell me you look that bad because of going off coffee and for no other reason."

I blinked at the sudden change of pace. "Honestly that is why. I'm dealing with it. I thought he'd be with me forever, Saracen."

"I know." He said gently, taking my hand in his. "But now you've got me to abuse. A creepy old man, lucky you, eh?" He said smiling and I giggled.

"Sorry. I'm taking him not being here out on you and that isn't fair. So I look that bad?"

"Even I wouldn't kiss you at this point, so what does that tell you?" He asked then laughed as I glared at him. But I smiled again. All of the Dead Men had tried to cheer me up, more or less. And Saracen had been the one to try the hardest. I had to cut him some slack. Of course he wouldn't behave without one of the others there to yell at him.

"That's a pity, because I was going to kiss you, but OK." I said, enjoying the shocked look on his face.

"Now who's being inappropriate?" He asked, then sipped at his coffee and wouldn't look at me. I giggled. We finished breakfast and he walked me outside, but instead of getting my door he leaned on the car with his arms folded to look at me. "I'm taking you back. This isn't going to work. You're far too young to be partners with me."

"I'm in my twenties, Saracen." I argued.

"Yes." He agreed. "And still a baby in comparison to me. It wouldn't feel right to me, us staying partners, I mean. I'll take the blame, of course. As I should. I had no right to talk to you the way I did and I apologize. Well, back we go." He said getting in.

I got in numbly. He wasn't kidding. He was taking me back. He was right of course, he was too old, and he _was_ Saracen. Putting me with him had been a huge mistake. He seemed to read my thoughts. "After the funeral I couldn't bear to see you alone. I wanted to be near you, so I'd know you'd be all right. But I can't change the type of man I am, Val. The only platonic female friends I've ever had were related to me."

"Oh." I said slowly.

"I thought you'd understand." He said, pulling up to the courthouse steps. "Goodbye, Valkyrie. Please take care of yourself." He said, not looking at me. I nodded and got out then watched him drive away.

* * *

 **Well now, that was short, wasn't it?**


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: I don't own Valkyrie, Saracen. Gordon, Erskine or Skulduggery.

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I was hurt and confused as I took a taxi home. But somehow, not hurt for me, but Saracen, because I knew it had taken everything decent in him to send me away. And I knew that in a way he was as lonely as I was. Which I guessed was why we couldn't be partners, but I still felt sorry for both of us. We could have had fun together if I hadn't been so defensive and taken out loosing Skulduggery on him.

At home, the rambling mansion Uncle Gordon had left to me, I changed and went for a long walk in the surrounding woods to clear my head. I actually put two of my walks together, going slow, admiring the trees and the wild animals that I saw. I knew I'd never have Skulduggery back and I'd actually come to peace with that.

He was with his wife now, and that was as it should be. But I did miss Saracen. He was stupid and annoying and totally inappropriate most of the time, but he was also my friend. I sat on a rock and sighed, drawing my knees up to me as I watched the golden leaves drift down around me. I thought back through the day, over everything he'd said and sat up straighter.

He'd said he loved me, and that he wanted to be near me. And I knew from listening to his stories that he never used the word love, and it wasn't like him to want to be near anyone. I heard a branch crack and whipped my head around. Saracen stood on the path a short distance from me. He smiled faintly. "Hey, Stalker Boy." I said and he laughed.

I patted the rock and he joined me. "I- I didn't report in yet. So far as the Sanctuary knows we're still partners." He said carefully.

"Trust me, they know everything we did today. And who said we aren't still partners? Our first argument, I'll always treasure it." I said and giggled helplessly. Saracen grinned at me.

"You look better. You looked all cute and vulnerable until I stepped on that stupid branch." He said gently.

"You look better too. Saracen-" I paused, not wanting to hurt his feelings. What if he didn't love me and it had just been him flirting? I most certainly didn't love him. "Never mind."

"Let me prove how I "just know things". You were going to ask why I had to be near you and if I meant it when I said I love you. I think the answer to that should be obvious, Valkyrie. Lucky you, me with my past." He smiled sadly.

"And Erskine knew this, and let us be partners?" I asked, raising an eyebrow at him.

"He's a man, Valkyrie. I just had to say you needed someone to protect you and he caved in." I glared at him. "I don't care how liberated you are." Saracen said calmly. "I am going to protect you and take care of you and be madly in love you whether you like it or not." I just stared at him and he continued. "Now, come on, I'll take you out to lunch and we can tell anyone who asks about earlier that we had a lover's tiff."

I rolled my eyes at him and accepted his hand as I rose from the rock. Saracen held my hand gently, his eyes looking into mine. He pulled me closer and I thought he was going to kiss me but he just smiled at me. "Hey, beautiful. Let's start over, OK?"

I thought of how cruel I'd been to him, of all the nasty things I'd said that morning, but he was still there for me. He'd still followed me just to be near me. And even though it was a huge mistake, I closed the gap between us and kissed him.

* * *

 **Wheee! I'm having fun, are you having fun?**


	5. Chapter 5

A/N: I don't own Valkyrie or Saracen.

* * *

Saracen wrapped his arms around me, pulling me closer as we both gave in to the kiss. We parted and he grinned at me goofily. "Wow, I'm going to follow you into the woods more often." He said. I blushed slightly.

"Um, yeah. You know there's something wrong with me, right? That I haven't ever been in love and-" He stopped me.

"I know. And if all you want is a good time or just partners I'm OK with that. Sometimes you go into something knowing you're going to get hurt, but you still do it because it's the right thing to do. I'm not going to run and hide from you, Valkyrie."

"Wow, I have an adult for a partner. I'm not sure how to handle that." I said as we walked back and Saracen laughed, stuffing his hands in his pockets.

"I'd say you're handling it quite well. Just less sarcasm if you don't mind." He said and I glanced at him. My words still stung and I cursed myself for forgetting he wasn't Skulduggery.

"Sorry, I'm used to a partner that liked being insulted and having me be mean to him. Of course he treated me the same way." I admitted as we reached Saracen's car.

Saracen rolled his eyes. "He would. Where would you like to go?"

"Dressed like this? Take away is fine."

"There's nothing wrong with jeans and a sweater, Val. We're supposed to be bonding, I know the perfect place. You up for a road trip?" He asked, his grin turning devilish.

"Why not?" I agreed getting in. Saracen looked delighted.

"I didn't expect you to agree." He said as he got in and we started out. "But you'll love this place, quiet, secluded, romantic. I'm not getting ahead of myself, you should indulge yourself as much as possible. Time passes so quickly, Valkyrie. Then you're a creepy old many hitting on hot young chicks and asking yourself: "Where _did_ the time go?" He said then laughed good-naturedly.

"Sorry, Skulduggery gave me a lecture once on what was and wasn't appropriate for mages-" I shrugged and Saracen laughed.

"He would. He found his one true love early in life. He never understood some of us aren't that lucky. I don't regret my past, but it does get lonely." He looked at me like he was expecting me to try and get out of a speeding car.

"And now you've found someone and you're afraid your past has caught up to you?" I asked and he nodded. "I'm sure you already know I'm no angel. You know all the bad things I've done, that I'm the bad girlfriend."

"Oh, wow. You kissed a guy. You don't want to know what I'd have done with him at your age."

"With a vampire?"

"Was he a hot vampire?"

"Well, yeah, obviously."

"You fill in the blanks. I'm never going to judge you, Val. Even if you were serious about them both at the same time. That's normal at that age. I don't suppose you kept, you know, video footage?" He asked.

"I officially hate you." I said and Saracen just laughed.

* * *

 **Aaaaand he's back to being the insensitive pervert we all know and love.**


	6. Chapter 6

A/N: I don't own Valkyrie, Saracen or Ghastly.

* * *

Saracen stopped at a petrol station for coffee and to stretch our legs. He grinned at me as he lounged against the car. "You know, this partnership could be fun, Val. Neither of us listen to the rules, we like to break the law whenever we please, we don't listen. Hmm, you get to be the responsible one."

"No, you get to." I said back, laughing. Saracen would have said something else but my mobile rang. I checked the ID and sighed. Ghastly was checking up on me. Saracen grinned and motioned for my phone.

"Hello, Elder Bespoke. I currently have Valkyrie in a hotel and I'm doing terrible things to her. Well, lovely speaking to you, goodbye." He rang off and we both burst out laughing. I took my mobile back, giggling.

"We're so fired. I better call him back before he does fire us." I rang him and Ghastly picked up on the first ring.

"Hello?" His voice was frosty.

"Sorry, Ghastly. Saracen's being a moron." I said, turning away from Saracen who was making stupid faces, trying to make me laugh.

"I can imagine. So, the partnership is going well?" He asked.

"I told him the Sanctuary knows everything that goes on. Yes, very well."

"Mm. I like keeping a close eye on you. Val, you watch out for his standard lines, all right? This is Saracen and although I trust him a little ways..." He trailed off.

"You know, you all told me stories about what men you were during the war. Technically, he's as safe as the rest of you." I said, turning to face Saracen who beamed at me.

Ghastly sighed. "Lovely point, Val. Put him on, would you?" I handed my mobile to Saracen. He listened attentively, but I could tell he wasn't going to do anything Ghastly was telling him to do. He rang off and looked at me.

"Ghastly says I'm to be a good boy and keep my hands to myself. I can either be good or keep my hands to myself. Your choice." He said, his lips twitching slightly.

"You're such a creep, Saracen." I said fondly.

"But that's why you love me." He said brightly. I sighed and got in the car. Saracen got in and looked at me. "You will love me, Valkyrie. I won't give up until you do."

"Keep dreaming, Stalker Boy." I said, but couldn't keep the fondness out of my voice.

* * *

 **Stalker Boy, that's his new name!**


	7. Chapter 7

A/N: I don't own Valkyrie, Saracen or Skulduggery.

* * *

We got back in the car, Saracen smiling at me. I thought I had seen someone out of the corner of my eye, but dismissed it. I wished I hadn't when we entered a wooded area and the engine promptly died. Saracen got out to look under the bonnet and I half expected he was pretending to be doing something when it got way too quiet. I realized then I had seen a man, but it couldn't have been who I thought it was.

He was dead, truly dead this time and not coming back. But the bonnet suddenly slammed and it wasn't Saracen peering through the windscreen at me. The man before me was dressed in an immaculately tailored suit and matching fedora, he tilted his head in a cheery grin as he waved a gloved hand at me.

I was either dreaming or insane, but I waved back. I got out, finally noticing Saracen sitting on the ground beside the man, looking as dazed as I felt. "Skulduggery?" I asked, not daring to believe he was actually in front of me. He nodded cheerfully.

"You should really make sure people are dead before you bury them. I've fallen apart before, remember?" He asked holding out his arms. I ran to him and hugged him tightly.

"But I fixed you last time."

"And I fixed myself the first time. I was almost going to leave this time, then I saw what you'd been given for a new partner." He said brightly.

"Stupid skeleton." I said fondly as he cuddled me closer. Saracen got up and looked at us with a sigh.

"If he's protecting you from me, I guess that means-" He put a hand on my shoulder and started to shake me. He shook me again and I realized I'd fallen asleep. I blushed, embarrassed.

"We're here." Saracen said gently. "You're cute when you talk in your sleep. It's OK if you're dreaming he's come back, you know. It's healthy. I've seen him places, heard his voice and when I run to meet him it isn't him. We all miss him, Val. You don't have to handle it alone."

He bundled me into him and although I tried not to, the tears came. I had never been in love with Skulduggery, I never would be, but I missed my best friend terribly. That Saracen understood and wasn't jealous told me he was a better man than I gave him credit for. I'd always thought he was just a sleazeball, but he was being understanding and compassionate.

Saracen just held me, he didn't try to kiss me or take advantage, he just bundled me into him, stroking my hair tenderly. I felt moisture touch me and looked up and realized he was crying too. He smiled at me. "What? Men aren't allowed to cry, Val?" I laughed and hugged him tightly.

And something changed between us. I couldn't put it into words exactly, but it was like becoming actual best friends. because he'd been open with me, and I'd been open with him, and neither one of us did that easily. We got ourselves together and Saracen escorted me into the cozy inn he'd driven us to, and I realized without him saying a word that he'd changed his original plans and we were there to start over.

* * *

 **Aw. Even I thought that was cute.**


	8. Chapter 8

A/N: I don't own Valkyrie, Saracen, Fletcher or Caelan. Thanks go out to Ihazbooks2002 and Valkyrie Smith for reviewing and everyone who faved and followed.

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Saracen stopped me at the door to the inn to cup my face in his hand gently. He actually looked scared over what he was about to do, like he expected me to reject him, but when he leaned in to kiss me I wrapped my arms around his neck, cradling his head to draw him closer. Kissing Saracen was better than kissing Caelan or Fletcher had been. He was a man for one thing, more intense, more passionate, but gauging how I was responding at the same time.

He actually cared if I enjoyed how he kissed me and it made fire explode in my belly when he deepened the kiss, his arms tightening around me as his tongue started to caress mine. Then the door to the inn flew open and an old woman started smacking him with her umbrella, yelling at him for attacking an innocent girl. I tried not to laugh, I really did as Saracen yelped and danced out of her way. "How old are you?" The old lady railed at him. "Forty? You should be ashamed of yourself!" She said, giving him a final resounding whack.

She turned to me, pressing money in my hand. "You call a cab, dear child. You needn't be with a beast like that. You'll find true love some day." I nodded and murmured my thanks, holding in my laughter until she drove away. Saracen glared at me, and that only made it funnier.

"She thinks you're forty." I snickered. He glared, then started to laugh himself. He held the door for me, then got my chair when we were shown to a table. Saracen gave me a wolfish smile after our coffee was served and our orders were placed.

"They have rooms here, Valkyrie." He said, the tone of his voice flooding my belly with butterflies.

"Stop it."

"Never." He said, taking my hands in his. His smile said he'd been teasing, and yet it also said that if I did want a room he wasn't going to think less of me for being with him. My heart pounded and I knew my reputation was already shot anyhow. I also knew I wanted to be with him. So even though it was likely a mistake I managed a small smile and nodded.

Surprise crossed his face then a small, uncertain smile. "You're sure?" He asked and at my murmured assent he nodded shakily. "I'll make the arrangements then. I can get two rooms, Val, I don't want to push you into anything." He offered, but I shook my head no. He got up and went to make the arrangements and I watched him, almost sure he was going to faint.

What had happened to the confident man who had seduced countless lovers? I knew he loved me, or at least he thought he did. I knew too it could be part of his seduction and that after he had his way with me he could disappear into the night, hopefully not leaving me with the bill for our room.

He returned, smiling faintly and I realized he was frightened. Saracen cleared his throat. "I got us the room. Val, it doesn't have to be like this. Yes, I want you, but we can be just partners."

"No platonic friends, remember?" I asked and he nodded. We finished our lunch and Saracen took my hand in his, leading me upstairs to our room without a word. He kissed me at the door, pushing me back gently against the wall, taking the kiss deeper than before as his hands roamed feverishly and I gripped his collar, trying to drag him closer as fire and heat danced inside of me. I ran my fingers through his hair, up and down his chest, trying to experience all of him at once and only reluctantly broke off the kiss so he could open the door and lead me inside.

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 **And I'm going to leave it there, just to be mean.**


	9. Chapter 9

A/N: I don't own Valkyrie, Saracen or anyone else you might recognize, more disclaimers to follow. Sorry to take forever to update, but nothing was coming to me. I checked my doc manager and it's been exactly 30 days since I posted anything. I get a reward or something for that, right?

* * *

We'd just gotten inside our room and Saracen was locking the door behind us when the window exploded inwards and a man hurtled inside, launching himself at Saracen. I just stood there like an idiot, staring. I forgot all my training and just stood and stared as the intruder landed a punch squarely on Saracen's jaw, knocking him backwards. Saracen went down in a groaning heap, stunned by the force of the blow.

The man looked over his shoulder and tipped his hat to me. "Hello, Valkyrie." He said cheerfully, that velvety voice I thought I'd never hear again filling my ears. He turned his head back to Saracen, his teeth set in a perpetual snarl. "As for you, not that I'm not thrilled to see you again, Saracen, but you have two options. Leave now, or I shoot you, then you leave." He said calmly. His gun leapt to his hand and he thumbed the trigger back.

"Skulduggery? But we buried you." Saracen managed dazedly.

"And what an utter joy _that_ was, getting out of that coffin. Magic comes in handy." Skulduggery said dryly. He smiled faintly as Saracen at last staggered to his feet, but kept himself firmly planted between us.

Saracen made for the door without a word, Skulduggery just staring at him, his gun never wavering. Once Saracen left he holstered his weapon. "You see? I might have no right to tell you what to do, Valkyrie, but if he actually loved you he would have stood his ground and fought for you."

"Skulduggery?" I managed in a small voice, thinking I'd fallen asleep again. He tilted his head at me and nodded, then held out his arms for a hug, I ran to him and he bundled me into him tightly, wrapping his bony arms securely around me. I tried to be brave, I really did, but I couldn't help crying.

"I thought you were dead, we all did." I said and he smoothed my hair gently.

"I've been dead a long time, Valkyrie, remember? Falling apart isn't a problem for me. I might even be able to jump into another skeleton at this point, bones are bones. But the other side was boring. I didn't have my best friend there with me." I looked up and he titled his head in the way he did to show he was smiling.

But he didn't have to, I could hear it in his voice and see it in a way. "But your family-" I protested weakly and he sighed and released me.

"The dead watch the living, Valkyrie. They do, you know. And- Let's just say some of the things I've done make me a very hard man to love."

"I thought being annoying and the world's worst detective made you hard to love." I teased and for once we both laughed and he hugged me tightly to him again.

"That's my girl. Come on, then. The Bentley's waiting and we do have a case."

"You're just assuming we're partners again?" I asked, raising an eyebrow at him.

"Valkyrie, you have to learn to start paying attention. I distinctly said I missed my partner."

"You said you missed your best friend." I growled, ready to punch him in the arm.

"No, I said partner, I'm sure I did." He said, a teasing note in his voice. And all it took was another smile and we were walking to the window. Skulduggery manipulated the air to clear the rest of the glass out then leapt through, and grinning hugely I followed.

* * *

 **I don't own Skulduggery either, obviously. So much for Saracen, but I can't see Skulduggery ever dying really, and the idea of him just leaping into another skeleton just came to me as I was writing this.**


	10. Chapter 10

A/N: I don't own Skulduggery or Valkyrie.

* * *

"Seatbelt." Skulduggery said as we got settled into the Bentley. I did as I was told, my hands starting to shake as the reality of him being back hit me. "Ah. I wondered when that was going to happen."

"Am I going insane?" I asked as he drove. "I am, aren't I? I'm insane and in a cell in the Sanctuary as we speak."

"I've always told you to embrace your insanity, Valkyrie." Skulduggery said happily. "Do you want some coffee? I want some coffee." I blinked at the sudden shift in the conversation.

"Um, yeah, sure..." I trailed off. It suddenly occurred to me that he'd completely lost his mind this time. "But how are we going to get coffee in the middle of nowhere?" I asked.

"Magic."

"Really?" I asked, sounding excited in spite of myself and he looked over at me through his disguise for a beat then laughed.

"You still believe everything I tell you, don't you?" He asked fondly. "But yes, really. I'll just remove the air manipulation and you should be able to go from there." He gestured and the heavenly aroma of coffee filled the Bentley. I unbuckled and twisted around to find two to go cups of it behind my seat on the floor in one of those trays they give out in coffee shops.

I got both, handing one to Skulduggery. If he had gone crazy enough to think he could eat and drink again I didn't have the heart to tell him not to try. "Thank you kindly." He said, slipping his scarf down low enough to sip his coffee and he did actually sip it. He glanced over at me. "I got some upgrades. I drug my bones over and did some work on them over there. Got rid of the old façade, got something better. Hold this."

He handed me his coffee then tapped his collarbone with his gloved hand. A façade flowed over his face, but it kept going and I could see the mass of a slim yet powerful body appear underneath his clothes. I was impressed, but I wasn't going to tell him that. "You shouldn't have done that, should you? Taking your bones over and bringing them back again?"

"Probably not. But the important thing to remember is not to panic."

"Something's after you, isn't it? That's our case?" I asked and he nodded. "And you decided to stop for coffee while something is chasing you down? What happens if it catches you?"

"I'd have to go back. Oh, dear." He said and I followed his gaze out the windscreen. There was a rider all in black on a coal black steed charging straight towards us. Even as he rode he drew a bow from his back and cocked an arrow, letting it fly straight for Skulduggery who had stepped on the accelerator. He veered and the arrow missed the Bentley.

"Hold on!" He ordered then turned the wheel hard just before we collided with the rider, slamming the back end of the Bentley into- Nothing. The horse and rider were gone. Skulduggery, who had managed to hold onto his coffee smiled over at me cheerfully. "That's the Huntsman, and he wants to take me back, but I'm not going."

* * *

 **Skulduggery just loves to take Val on exciting adventures, doesn't he? The Huntsman is my OC, of course.**


	11. Chapter 11

A/N: I don't own Skulduggery, Valkyrie, Saracen or Lord Vile.

* * *

"The Huntsman?" I asked as Skulduggery started driving again.

"Yes. My coming back isn't the problem actually, I just happened to borrow things. Those upgrades I told you about?"

"Dear Lord." I sighed. "Can't you just give them back?"

"As they are literally inside my bones, er, no. I've disappointed you, haven't I?" He asked.

"Not really. I'm surprised that he's all we have to worry about actually. He _is_ all we have to worry about, right?" I asked when his shoulders stiffened.

"Yes." He lied. "I missed you, you know."

"Being adorable at this point is not helping, Skulduggery!" I growled. Then turned away so he wouldn't see my smile. He had the ability to charm people and worm his way out of things. In all fairness he deserved to face his punishment alone, but he was my best friend and I wouldn't abandon him, no matter what.

"I'm sorry." I said at last. "That things didn't work out for you with your wife. Can you try again?" He got very quiet and I knew I'd said the wrong thing. "Sorry."

"No, I brought it up, didn't I? I'd planned on lying to you, Valkyrie. To tell you I was welcomed home with open arms. To tell you I had just popped back for a visit. That everything was OK."

"It should be. I mean, Lord Vile only exists because you loved your family so much. It's rather sweet actually, if you think about it." I said, trying to cheer him up.

"I was a stranger to them. They've watched me, but I was a stranger, a terror. A monster." He said softly. "But I'm not to you, am I? Thank you for that."

"You're my best friend. Does anyone other than Saracen and I know you're back?"

"Um, no. Though I've a feeling he's told them all about me. You see, since I have these upgrades I opened a portal of sorts. But only for three days. I'm fairly sure nothing bad will happen."

"What kind of portal?" I asked nervously. "Shouldn't we be there, guarding it?"

"Well, I'm kind of the portal. So you can guard me if it helps." I sighed.

"Tell me again why you stole all these upgrades?"

"I had my reasons."

"Which were?"

"If we live through the three days and the world doesn't end I promise to tell you."

* * *

 **Bad, Skeleton Detective, bad!**


	12. Chapter 12

A/N: I don't own Valkyrie, Skulduggery or Ghastly.

* * *

My mobile rang and I took it out. It was Ghastly. "Hello?" I said, trying to sound as if my partner hadn't suddenly come back from the dead.

"I want you two at the Sanctuary. Now." He growled. Then his voice softened. "How are you taking it, Val? Are you all right?"

"She's in shock." Skulduggery said helpfully. I'd forgotten how good his hearing was. I sighed and after our goodbyes I rang off. I glared at Skulduggery.

"You didn't have to share that little bit of information, you know. And I'm fine." I growled. We rode in silence the rest of the way and when we entered the Sanctuary Skulduggery basked in all the attention we were getting. Well, he was getting. By the time we'd reached Ghastly's office he seemed like his old self again.

Skulduggery seated himself, crossed his legs and put his fedora on one knee. Ghastly just stared at him then looked at me and sighed. "I'm blaming you for this. You're the reason he came back. Tea?" He asked and I nodded.

"She is not." Skulduggery lied and Ghastly snorted.

"My mother had more than one vision in her lifetime, Skul. You do know a whole lot of people want to just ship you back over?"

"That wouldn't end this. Regardless of where I am the portal is still open. Besides, maybe he won't have noticed."

Obviously Ghastly knew what was going on. I looked at Skulduggery and he titled his head in a smile. "Have I told you how pretty you look today, Valkyrie?" He tried.

"Shut up, Skulduggery! Who did you steal from?" I asked and he looked away. Ghastly handed me my tea with another sigh.

"Drink that, then I'll tell you, since the idiot who caused all this trouble obviously won't." I did as I was told, wondering what was so terrible. When I finished he continued. "I know what you're thinking, Val. Who could he have stolen from? A powerful mage? One of the Good Folk? No, he went all the way to the top."

"You just lost me." I admitted.

"Think, Val. Who is the one person, if you want to call him that, who can go anywhere he pleases and take any form he wants to?" I thought about it and went pale.

"You didn't. Skulduggery, tell me you didn't." I said and he looked away. "But then why hadn't he just come for Skulduggery? Just taken him?"

"He has rules." Skulduggery said quietly. "And truth be told as even the dead want nothing to do with me he didn't care if I stayed in his kingdom or left. He is rather grumpy about me drugging his wine so I could study the sigils on his bones though. But it was all for a good cause."

"I'm sure it was." A smooth voice said from behind us and we all jumped. "And now that I see your partner I see why you stole from me." The man looked and sounded exactly like William Powell. But I knew who and what he was and put on my best smile.

"Hello. I don't suppose you could just forgive and forget?"

"And have everyone stealing from me? No. Your companion charmed me over dinner. I didn't even see him drug the wine. But I can let all that slide if you'll play a game with me. If you win, your companion and you are effectively immortal. You amuse me."

"And if we loose?" I asked.

"You forfeit your life and come to live with me in my kingdom. You, after all, are the reason the Skeleton Detective returned. But it is up to you, my dear. Say no and I'll drag him back in your place."

"If I agree, this three day thing is no longer a threat?" I asked and he didn't even hesitate to nod.

"Agreed. But the game will last for that time span."

"Then I'm in."

* * *

 **Oh, dear. Well the good news is that the world won't end. The bad news is that things never go well for these two, do they?**


	13. Chapter 13

A/N: I don't own Skulduggery, Valkyrie or Ghastly. This chapter gets a little sad at the end, you have been warned.

* * *

"I'm not without mercy, and a deal is a deal. I'll keep the game as simple as possible because I'd rather like to see you win." He smiled at us and I started to relax. "After all, sometimes we do things without even knowing why. I know the real reason your partner returned, even if he doesn't. Your task is simple. You and your partner have three days to find something your partner has hidden. Only, he's rather good at lying to himself, and you, so you'll have to dig deep to find your answers. Good hunting."

With that he nodded and disappeared. I looked at Skulduggery. "What was that all about?" I asked and he shrugged helplessly. "He said it was the real reason you returned. So it must not be what you think it is." I tried.

"He also said I hid it and to dig deep." He shrugged again. "I'm sorry, Valkyrie, but I've no idea what he's talking about." I looked at him carefully. "It could be anything. A treasure I squirreled away somewhere as a boy. Something I tucked away in a drawer, perhaps."

Ghastly just looked amused, but he didn't say anything. "What?" I asked and he only smiled in reply. "Ghastly, he didn't say we couldn't have any help."

"It seems obvious to me. What kind of upgrades did you steal other than the façade?" He asked and Skulduggery tilted his head thoughtfully.

"That's it, well, and being able to eat or drink. Do you think it's something hidden? That I've no idea what I really borrowed?"

"It might be. Why don't you two go home? It will come to you sooner or later." Skulduggery nodded and we returned to the Bentley.

"Why didn't Ghastly just tell us the answer?" I groused and Skulduggery shrugged.

"No idea. Seatbelt. So, we know it is something I've hidden from myself, perhaps the real reason I returned. It may or may not be hidden in the sigils. Curious." He murmured as he drove.

"You were going to tell me why you stole the things you did. Maybe that's our answer." I said. His hands tightened on the steering wheel slightly.

"No, that's not it."

"How do you know?"

"Because what I borrowed didn't work."

"The façade seems to be working just fine." I said, perplexed.

"I didn't just borrow a façade. I borrowed something else. But it didn't work. And now that I think of it, perhaps that's the answer. It's in the pouch around my neck. A ring."

"And it does what, exactly?"

"It makes the woman I'm in love with fall in love with me. But as I am here and not with my wife, it doesn't seemed to have worked very well, now, does it?" He snapped and I sat back in silence, my heart shattering into a million pieces.

He'd given me the answer to the question I'd always been afraid to ask, and now I wondered if it was worth finding out the truth about what else he had hidden from both of us.

* * *

 **Oh, bother.**


	14. Chapter 14

A/N: I don't own Valkyrie, Skulduggery or Saracen.

* * *

But Skulduggery's answer didn't make any sense to me. Not then and not that night as I lay in my bed. The bed he'd bought me when he'd redone his house for my comfort. Back when I had a huge crush on him. I sighed. I was OK with him still being in love with his wife, I really was, but if that was the answer, why wasn't the game over? "Why indeed?"

The voice of our challenger floated to me out of the darkness. "Your partner is so skilled as a liar that he's fooled even himself this time. But why upgrades if he planned on staying with his wife?"

"He did them after she rejected him?" I ventured.

"He started working the moment he died. Well, the closest moment after. Yes, he went to see his wife and child. It had been four centuries since he'd seen them."

"Did they really reject him? It doesn't make sense. If she loved him, and she had to..." I trailed off. I was so confused. Not twenty four hours ago I'd been willing to sleep with Saracen when I knew I really didn't love him. Just to have someone to be close to. Had it been like that?

"Yes, she loved him. His family will always love him and he will love them. But it has been centuries, my dear. And in those centuries he's been smitten with countless women and countless women have returned the favor. And as much as he won't admit it- Well, I can't give you everything."

"Now I'm really confused. If he's loved her all these centuries, why all the other women?"

"It's not for me to try and understand the human heart. Perhaps he simply felt he'd never see her again. Perhaps he was lonely and didn't know what else to do. Life isn't a romance novel, it isn't all neat and clean."

"No, it isn't." I said, thinking of my own past. I hadn't loved any of the men I'd kissed. I hadn't even loved Saracen, not really. But I'd been willing to act like I did because Skulduggery was never coming back. But then he had and he'd found me with Saracen. "Oh." I said and heard a chuckle.

"Right now he's wondering if he hasn't slipped any further into insanity that he already has. He's fighting the obvious. So are you. Time to let go of the past, yours and his. You accept the human heart can be divided because you've experienced enough confusion in your own life. He didn't steal my ring for his wife. No matter what he's telling himself right now."

"But he'll never believe me. And if Saracen tries to help it will just make things worse."

"Saracen was trying to help. He got a little carried away with his role, and he will never admit it, but he does know things." The voice faded away and I realized the truth. But could I make Skulduggery see it in the time we had left?

* * *

 **So what is the truth? And why is Valkyrie so confused? First she never loved Skulduggery, then she always has. It seems like more than one detective has been lying to themselves. And, since we are asking questions, did Saracen really lure Val way to thier cozy love nest just to force the partners to see the truth?**


	15. Chapter 15

A/N: I don't own Skulduggery or Valkyrie. I also don't own you, you are your own person.

* * *

The next morning I wasn't sure what to do. I couldn't just tell Skulduggery, he wouldn't believe me. I had to hope he'd figure the truth out for himself before time ran out. "Morning." He said, sounding chipper and more like his old self again. "Beautiful day, isn't it? Coffee?"

"Yes, it is. And yes, please. You've solved the case, haven't you?" I asked, amused, and he nodded. "You certainly look happy about it."

"Yes, I am. Because I figured out something. I'd been too busy sneaking about to keep an eye on you, so I wasn't thrilled by coming back in time to see Saracen kiss you."

I winced. "Sorry about that. But I don't love him. I was just-"

"Lonely and confused, I know." He said gently. "Nor does he love you. He wasn't even trying to seduce you. He knew I was coming, knew roughly where and when I'd reappear and he took you there because he knew seeing him with you would set me off. Force me to come out of hiding."

"You were hiding?" I asked doubtfully.

"I was." He fiddled with his skull cufflinks and I smiled, remembering the year I'd gotten them for him for Christmas. Skulduggery liked to pretend he was unsentimental, that he didn't care about people or things, but he did. The trick now was waiting for him to admit who it was he cared about. "I wasn't sure you'd want me back, considering."

"Considering you went to see your wife and child? I know that, Skulduggery, you told me. And you should still love them. There would be something seriously wrong with you if you didn't." I said and he tilted his head in a smile and then sipped his coffee.

I had wanted to take his hand in mine but I wasn't brave enough to. So I sipped my coffee and looked anywhere but at him. "Penny for your thoughts." He said warmly and I flushed slightly.

"If you solved the case, if we've beat the game, then why doesn't it feel like it is over?" I asked and he shrugged. "I'm serious. Why hasn't our opponent shown up yet, at least to claim his ring?"

"There's solving a case, then there's solving a case. For centuries my only reason to be alive was revenge, the only thing that kept me going was revenge. Then I met you and my world changed. I didn't want to admit it, but it did. I've had plenty of friends through the centuries, even had what you could call partners before, but never anyone I let in as close as you. And I don't know why. You talk too much, you wear hideous clothes and you're rather annoying."

"Skulduggery!" I growled.

"Valkyrie, don't interrupt when I'm being brilliant. I let you close, I started to care. You became my closest friend and I swore I'd always be with you, until the end. That's why I couldn't rest. I needed to be with you, to be with my best friend and partner again. To see her pretty smile and admit that I like that smile, and not just as her partner."

He sipped his coffee then went on, more softly. "To thank her, for everything. She willingly gave up a normal life with her family to be with me. She stayed when she found out the truth and never once used it for leverage against me. And that softened me. Gave the man I am and was a chance to love her."

"Wow."

"Wow indeed. And since you haven't changed towards me, then I can only deduce that it is because you're already in love with me just as I am. As a skeleton, I mean. Provided you realize the façade is just meant for cases, and provided you promise to not faint, I might even kiss you."

"That's romantic, that is." I said dryly. Skulduggery tilted his head in a smile and took out the ring. Our opponent appeared and took it with a grin.

"Some detective you are." He said looking at Skulduggery. "You've won because you discovered the woman you are actually in love with, so the game is over, and you're both immortal, more or less. But you didn't even examine the ring." He tossed it to me and I caught it, looked at the inscription inside and laughed.

"Skulduggery, this ring was made in China. It's a mass produced ring worth maybe five bucks at most."

"It could have been made into a magical item." He huffed then crossed his arms and began to sulk. Our opponent laughed and disappeared, leaving us the ring as a memento. Skulduggery refused to look at it and I just finished my coffee and smiled.

* * *

 **Whee, hope you liked it. I want to start a fresh Valduggery since I just finished the last novel, so that will be it for this one.**


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